Now taking applications for new romantic interest.
If male: must be taller than 6’2, out of shape preferred but not required, facial hair mandatory.
If female: cute.
Both must have a valid California ID, live within the Bay Area and be at least 24 years of age.
Interests and hobbies may include but shouldn’t be limited to: art, nerdy stuff, loud music, good food and jokes.
My people will review your qualifications and I will be holding one-on-one interviews with the best candidates.
Benefits: you get to hang out with me and I’m pretty cool.
Please inquire within.
P.S. Out of shape, stoner metal dudes with beards and an IQ higher than 120 get an automatic pass and invite to my house.
real talk: i don’t know how to be alone and the last two months have been a colossal failure
shoutout to being incredibly sick and not having insurance yet because your ex cancelled it (he was paying for it)
shoutout to dudes that take you on magical dates and don’t call back, when you didn’t even fuck them
shoutout to girls you had revenge sex with and now don’t want to deal with
shoutout to being alone
shoutout to not knowing what to do
shoutout to oakland for not mugging me yet
shoutout to the other bbs who’s lives are also in shambles
Life is meaningless and we’re all going to die alone, despite out greatest efforts
I think this is the best picture of me ever.
♥ ocdiscofever ♥
I need to clean on Mondays
Here is a picture of me in the bathroom at work